I wanted it to work. I wanted to fall in love, like so many of my friends. “It takes a while,” they said. “Don’t expect a coup de foudre. Let it build over time.”
我願望此次能勝利。我願望本身能像許多同夥那樣愛上它。“這須要花點時光，”他們說。“別期望一見鐘情，情感是須要時光逐步造就的。”
So I did. I knew other people looked at what I had with envy. But a month and a half after we first got together, I have decided it is time to — well, call time.
因而我就這麽做了，我曉得其別人用妒忌的眼力看著我所具有的器械。但當首次相逢曩昔一個半月以後，我認為——好吧，這麽長的時光已夠了。
I am breaking up with my Apple Watch. The relationship was, despite all expectations, not what I needed. All the focus on San Francisco and Apple’s next big innovation this week (streaming!) made me realize it was not playing my tune.
我就如許擯棄了我的蘋果腕表。只管我對這段幹系等待頗高，但它究竟不是我須要的。這個禮拜，人們都把眼光投向舊金山，親密存眷著蘋果公司下一個龐大立異(流媒體!)，因而我也明確，它放的不是我愛好的調調。
Still, I will never regret the weeks we spent together. They taught me some valuable truths about myself.
不外，我不會為咱們共度的幾個禮拜覺得懊悔。這段時光讓我熟悉到了關於本身的龐大本相。
Like, for example, that I do not want to be defined by a talking point on my wrist.
比喻說，我確切不想用手段上顯眼的玩藝兒彰顯身份。
There is a reason that I carry the same (no logo) handbag everywhere I go, a reason my (pre-Apple) watch had no bells or tourbillon whistles; a reason I gravitate toward clothes that are not identifiable by season or designer and do not appear in any advertisements I have ever seen.
以是我走到哪兒都只是帶著一個沒有標識的手袋，在用這個蘋果腕表以前，我的腕表沒有鬧鈴，也沒有陀飛輪的聲響;我只愛好那些沒有標明當季時新或是有名計劃師的衣服，那些我沒在告白裏見過的衣服。
I spend a lot of time in a world where products are shorthand for people, and I know too well the risks of having such semiology attached to myself (though I fully acknowledge my willingness to attach it to others).
在這個我生存多年的天下上，商品被簡化，賣給人們，我深深曉得把如許一種標記意義同本身接洽起來會有甚麽樣的傷害(只管我曉得本身也會把如許的標記和他人接洽起來)。
But when I started wearing the Apple Watch (the 38-millimeter case with a Milanese Loop band, which is the smaller size with a flexible stainless steel bracelet), it became a subject of conversation no matter where I was: in meetings at work, at the bagel store, at my son’s track meet. It has been so everywhere, marketed to so many people, there was just no mistaking it.
然則一旦我戴上蘋果腕表(38毫米表殼米蘭尼斯表帶，是比擬小的型號，有可彎的不銹鋼手鐲表帶)，它就成為了話題的核心，無論我走到甚麽處所：事情集會、面包店、兒子的家長會。它早已無處不在，做過無數推行，人們毫不大概認錯。
First everyone wanted to know about it. Then they wanted to try it. Then they made certain assumptions about me.
一開端，全部人都想懂得它，厥後他們就想碰運氣，再接下來他們就開端對我發生特定的預測。
Which, frankly, I would have made about any woman like myself walking around with a big black box on her arm.
坦率地說，假如看到一個像我如許的女人胳膊上挎著一個大黑箱子隨處走來走去，我也免不了對她發生一樣的設法主意。
Because no matter how attractive the Apple Watch is in the context of other smartwatches or smartbands, no matter how much of an aesthetic advance its rounded corners and rectangular display, it still looks like a gadget. Especially on someone, like me, with relatively small wrists.
由於，無論蘋果腕表在智妙手表和智妙手環界有何等誘人，無論它的圓角和矩形表現器是多大的美學提高，它看上去仍舊只是個小玩藝兒。特殊是對付我這類手段很細的人來講。
Not only does its face effectively span the width of my forearm, but the cool little screen saver that so many reviewers have lauded — the Mickey or the butterfly or the galaxy (which is the one I have) or the pseudo-watch hands (the one that, notably, is always on in every picture of the watch, and actually makes it look like a watch) — is also functionally sleeping most of the time.
它的表盤寬度和我的手段差未幾寬，另有它誰人酷酷的屏幕掩護，許多人看了都嘖嘖驚嘆——有米老鼠、胡蝶和星空(我的便是星空)，另有兩個假表針(全部蘋果腕表的圖片上都有這個假表針，搞的它似乎真的是塊表同樣)——大多半時光，這個屏保就睡在表盤上。
Every time I see it, I want to shriek, “Beam me up, Scotty.”
每次瞥見它我都想大呼一聲，“傳送我上去，斯科蒂。”(語出《星際迷航》——譯註)
Not that it would do much good. Typing doesn’t awaken the picture. Even when I rock my arm back and forth energetically, it often takes a few tries before up the earth pops. The default position is blank.
倒不是說它沒用。鍵入不克不及激活屏保，就算我使勁往返晃胳膊，也得花上好幾回，誰人地球能力跳出來。默許地位是空缺的。
Just as my default position when trying to read an email or the text of a headline on the small screen involves raising my wrist to near eye level — or, if a phone call is involved and my actual phone is not reachable, talking into thin air. If your children or acquaintances come upon you, it’s pretty much an invitation to ridicule.
在這個小屏幕上，想讀email、短信、消息題目，我習氣的姿態通常為把手段舉到視平線處，假如有手機打來，電話又欠好拿，得用它來打手機的時刻，感到就像是對著氛圍措辭。假如你的孩子大概熟人這時候走到你身旁，極可能會笑話你。
“Why is that more embarrassing than endlessly looking at a phone?” my friends said when I complained.
“為何這比頻仍看電話更讓人為難呢?”我埋怨的時刻，同夥們都這麽問我。
It’s a valid question, but after some contemplation I think the answer is simple: A phone is hand-held, and we are used to seeing people read things held in their hands. Like, say, books. But seeing somebody staring at her wrist (or merely sneaking a surreptitious glance at it) telegraphs something else entirely: (1) rudeness or (2) geekiness.
這是個好題目，然則經由思慮，我認為我的答復很簡略：電話是拿在手裏的，而咱們已習氣了看到人們瀏覽拿在手裏的器械，比喻說念書。然則看著或人盯動手腕(大概是偷偷摸摸地偷瞄本身的手段)，還用它來發訊息，這就讓人認為又不規矩，又像是科技狂。
This doesn’t seem to have bothered the tech writers, most of whom wrote persuasively positive reviews of the gadget, primarily based on what it could do for you. And it is certainly more subtle than Google Glass, though I am not sure that is saying much.
對付科技寫手們來講，這算不上甚麽大事，他們大多半人都為蘋果腕表寫了使人佩服的樂觀批評，內容主如果基於它的功效。並且它明顯比谷歌眼鏡精細，不外我認為這也解釋不了太多題目。
Granted, all of this would likely pale in importance if the watch were truly transforming my life, as my iPhone has. But I have never had a problem turning away from my emails when I need to concentrate on something else — I’ve effectively trained myself to compartmentalize — so I need specific alerts as to what is important.
退一步說，假如這塊表真的能像iPhone電話那樣轉變我的生存，那末統統也就都沒甚麽大不了的了。我一貫練習本身把手頭的事分別得很清晰，須要埋頭幹事的時刻，我歷來不會分心去查email，以是我須要有個提示，告知我甚麽郵件是主要的。
And the small screen is simply too small to really read on, so I’ve been more annoyed than happy when it alerted me to texts from my loved ones; and when I saw a headline, all I wanted to do was find the rest of the story.
小屏幕其實是過小了，基本無法用它好好讀器械，以是每當它提醒我，主要的親友石友給我發信息了，我的感到不是愉快，而是焦躁;並且我又是那種一看題目就不由得想讀內容的人。
Besides, the busywork the watch’s apps can replace — handing over airline boarding passes, opening hotel room doors — seems less like an advance than a loss of control. Call me a Luddite, but honestly, I don’t mind unlocking things with my actual hands. The new watch OS announced this week may change the situation, but I am not sure I have the patience to wait.
別的，蘋果腕表上的運用可以替換一些事情，但看上去不比是提高，倒像是失控——提交登機牌、打開旅店房間等等。你可以說我是個討厭技巧的人，但誠實說，我不介懷用本身的雙手打開門鎖。新的蘋果腕表操縱體系宣告這個禮拜可以在這方面舉行改良，但我不肯定我還有無耐煩等下去。
Likewise (and I know this will be heresy to anyone really excited about the coming Fitbit initial public offering), the fitness-app aspect — the tracking of my steps, the measuring of my heart rate, the telling me to stand up when I am in the middle of an article — seems more like a burden than freedom.
一樣(我曉得對付那些高興等待Fitbit康健手環初次公然募股的人們來講有點像異端邪說)，那些康健運用更像是給人帶來累贅而不是自由——便是那些幫你計步、丈量你的心跳、提示你文章寫到一半站起來運動的運用。
I have worked hard to wean myself from a reliance on exercise machines telling me how hard I had worked — how many calories I had burned, how many stairs I had climbed — in part because I knew I was cheating pretty much all the time anyway and thus could not trust the results, and in part because it became an excuse to modify, or not, my ensuing behavior.
我費了很大力量讓本身再也不依附錘煉東西，不讓它來告知我我錘煉得有何等辛勞——我焚燒了若幹卡路裏、我爬了若幹級台階——部門是由於我曉得本身常常做弊，機械給的成果靠不住，部門也是由於它成為了一種托言，來掩蓋或不掩蓋我隨之而來的行動。
But the truth is, I know when I am in shape; I can see the difference in my body and feel it when I ride my bike in the park. The watch threatened to drag me back into a numbers-driven neurosis, and that’s a temptation I would rather not have. (Also, I have too many friends who look at their fitness tracker in the middle of conversation, then immediately spring up and start walking around energetically, to feel it is really additive to my life.)
但究竟是，我曉得本身很康健;假如我去公園裏騎自行車，我能感到到本身的身材和心境產生了變更。這塊表威逼著我，要把我拖回到由數字驅動的神經兮兮中去，我情願不要這類勾引(我有很多同夥都是說著一半話就開端看他們的康健追蹤器，然後立時跳起來，精力頭實足地繞圈走路，我認為這對付我來講完整過剩)。
I did like the fact that I could turn my phone ringer off, and the watch would vibrate when, say, my children were on the line and I needed to take the call. But in the end that wasn’t enough.
我確切愛好把電話關成靜音，孩子們打來手機時腕表會震撼，我再拿起手機。但到頭來這點利益還不敷。
When I told a colleague about the breakup, he observed that perhaps I wasn’t the target for the Apple Watch. That I should be sure to tell the Siri on my wrist, “It’s not you, it’s me.” He may be right.
我告知一個同事我擯棄了蘋果腕表，他指出，大概我不是它的目的用戶。我必定得告知手段上的Siri，“不是你的題目，是我的。”他大概是對的。
Except I don’t think so, and not just because often, opposites do attract. But because I actually think I am the intended: a nontech person who wouldn’t otherwise have too many gadgets (a phone, an iPad, a laptop), but who could be seduced into buying another because of its desirability.
但我其實不這麽以為，這不單單是由於不是冤家不聚頭。而是由於我認為我切實其實是它的目的用戶：一個非技巧型的人，原來不肯意具有太多科技產物(電話、iPad、條記本電腦就夠了)，但卻大概被勾引著多買下一件，只由於它太誘人了。
That’s the way Apple increases market share and owns a category, after all: by sucking in those who are not Apple addicts. It’s why the company worked so hard to get close to the fashion flock.
以是蘋果的市場份額才日趨增長，而且標新立異：靠的便是吸引那些不留戀蘋果產物的人。以是蘋果公司才那末盡力，去切近時尚人群。
But here’s the thing: The watch isn’t actually a fashion accessory for the tech-happy. It’s a tech accessory pretending to be a fashion accessory. I just couldn’t fall for it.
但題目便是如許：蘋果腕表實在並非為愛好技巧的人計劃的時尚配飾。它是偽裝成時尚配飾的技巧配飾。我便是不愛好而已。
市場價：HK$ 92
